I'm Bringin' Funky Back... Yeah!

So the funk from my last post has not subsided. Things seem to be getting worse, honestly. (If the picture makes no sense to you... sorry).

In my own little, insignificant world, I feel like Job. Lame, huh?

We are in the process of losing our house in Michigan... April 4th if you're keeping score at home. I just got "laid off" from my job. My back has been injured somehow and I'm having trouble sleeping and some money we thought we were going to have has been "postponed." I could go on and on (and I will a little further down).

Are my circumstances different than thousands, possibly millions of other people right now? No. But it sucks nonetheless. Inside my little bubble, things just aren't going very well.

There are so many worse things to go through in life than what I am experiencing right now, so don't be offended or displeased with me for grumbling/complaining/whining... I don't mean to say that my troubles are that bad, just understand that right now, in the place that I am, I am down. A close friend of mine just went through something more painful than I have ever experienced thus far in my life, so I know that my problems are small in comparison.

Another friend of mine is on some kind of pilgrimage to distance himself from everyone he knows. It's very sad and a little strange to me, but I know that I do it myself, I pull away, I retreat from the things that cause me pain, but eventually you have to deal with them, right? Just like the house thing, I can try to ignore it all I like, but eventually the lawyers are coming and they are taking that house. It's not that we even really want the house, we tried to get rid of it, but no one wants it. The lawyers don't even want it, they want the money.

The job I started in January was a record - - actually it comes in 2nd place... I worked at a car dealership as a porter for half a day. This last job ended up being a little shy of 3 months. The hardest part for me is that the person who gave me this job was really trying to help me out - get me back on the horse, so to speak, and she wasn't making enough to support paying both of us and I had less time on the job. I went to pick up my check today and there was no evidence that I existed in that place. My email was turned off, my name taken off the mailbox, it kind of felt like I had been erased. I am still technically employed on an "as needed" basis, but it feels like there won't be much "need" for me anymore. Thankfully we talked through some things.

Then there is the whole house thing. There are people who are always there for you when times are tough... I can't mention you by name or the people that seem to be absent during these times will be offended, but you know who you are and we love you. We are so blessed by God to have you in our lives.

It really amazes me though, that some people just seem to stay away when you need them the most. Maybe they just don't know what to do. Maybe they just don't care to help. Whatever the case may be, it just reinforces things for me. I hate that too. I want to think the best, but it's hard.

I know in the end all this has been is a gripe session, but it was therapeutic. If you want to call me a whiner, feel free. Just sharing my heart.

In the end, I know that God has something going here. I have to believe that.

I'll leave you with this... one of my favorite songs says:

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

-Written by Matt & Beth Redman

See to Believe?

I have been in a funk...

Many of the things that were on track in my life seem to have fallen apart... most of it by my own doing, but there seems to be no flow. No rhyme, no reason.

Spiritually speaking, I am questioning things. I "know" a lot of things to be true about God, but lately I am realizing that I have a tough time truly "believing" those things. All I hope and pray for is that "Mustard Seed Faith," that Jesus talks about.

I desire so much more... I crave the life that Jesus promised - Life to the Fullest. How am I missing it? Is it right here in front of me and I'm missing it? Is this all there is? There has to be more.

My faith needs to be stretched and God is allowing a lot of stretching right now... not fun, but there has to be a point to all of this. God has promised us so many things, I will continue to believe that what He said is true... at least I want to do that anyway.

How did this happen?

I have a confession to make... I have been watching American Idol.

Sad isn't it? It's not like it's some amazing thing... Millions, possibly even Billions of people watch it all the time. The thing is, I never used to... thought it was lame.

Sure, it's a lot of fun and strangely sad to see people make fools of themselves on National Television (especially in HD). The thing that is amazing to me is the number of people who seem to think they can sing. How does this happen? Maybe they just have really loving and supportive friends and family who want to encourage them no matter how bad they are... that is a blessing and a curse apparently. Sure, I wish there were more people that told me to reach for the stars when I was a kid, but thank God they didn't encourage me to do something I clearly had no talent in.

We're past all the horrible singing now (not if you ask Randy & Simon) and have moved into the top 12 singers that "America" has chosen to move on (Why do we let "America" decide these things? Has anyone noticed that "America" gets it wrong a lot? Two words: Sanjaya Malakar). So now they start singing certain styles and get critiqued by Randy, Paula & Simon... but we decide who moves on by calling an 800 number a million times. At any rate, it is actually kind of fun, because I enjoy pausing the TiVo while Cheryl and I give our own critiques (I usually end up pretty close to Simon without being as mean... Cheryl is nicer but we are usually in agreement).

So far I have some favorites. Blake Lewis is probably my number one pick, but just a little behind that is Chris Sligh. My buddy, Bill, knows Chris Sligh and is really pulling for him, but I am not really sure he is the best... maybe he will change my mind in the coming weeks. In reality, the best "singer" on the show is probably Melinda Doolittle. Cheryl loves her. Cheryl lets out this strange "Wooooooh!" everytime she sings and there is an occasional, "You go GIRL!" Very disturbing... funny and adorable, but disturbing.

So there it is, my dark secret... American Idol watcher. Pray for me, maybe it's just something that I need to get out of my system. Speaking of, did I mention that I have been watching a little NASCAR? Seriously, PRAY!

Uncle Scotty...

Well, at 12:16 a.m. today I became Uncle Scotty!

My nephews, Christopher, Kaylin & Desmond, and my neice Nicole were not around for me to hug and kiss and spoil to death when they were babies, but I love them just the same. So this new addition to our family, Emma Joan, is special in a different way.

I am so happy for my brother, Matthew, and his wonderful wife, Sarah. They are amazing people and God has blessed them (me too!) with a healthy baby girl! I know they will love her so much... not to mention the love from Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles.

Matthew, I am full of joy for you on this day and proud to be your one and only brother and BRAND NEW UNCLE!

God bless you and your family!

As I Was Saying...

It's only been a few months... so I thought I would bring you up to date on what is happening in the land of the Ramblin' Scotzman.

First off, I am working at a real estate office here in town and it's been okay. Scotty was not made to be trapped behind the four walls of the cubicle wasteland. Luckily I work with some of the funniest people in the world. They make worktime lots of fun.

Even though we are only 3 hours southwest of Detroit, we were told that the Winters here weren't as bad... someone lied. It has been cold and we got a pretty good snowfall once this year. We are supposed to get some more tonight. All that being said, these people have no idea what a Michigan Winter is like. The schools here cancel so often it's ridiculous... obviously, I am slightly jealous because I wish we had as many snow days when I was a kid. When we had our big snowfall - all 8 inches of it - they literally told us if they caught you on the road, you would be arrested. Only in Ohio.

We are really settling in and enjoying it here though. The people are great and living in a smaller town is really nice too. There are times I hate having to drive 20 or 30 minutes for a night out, but our little town is growing. Best Buy will be open in April and there is even a rumor that we'll have a few chain restaurants going up in the not too distant future. Trust me, man cannot live on Applebee's and Bob Evans alone. Cheryl told you what happened when we got a KFC/Long John Silver's... unbelievable. But to the people here it's all brand new.

I also had my first sump pump adventure on my birthday weekend. I had no idea what to expect since I have never had one of those before, but this thing was going off every 30 seconds at one point and I thought for sure it was going to blow up. I was freaked out about it, but in the end a guy from my church came over and told me to stop worrying... this is what they do.

Like I said earlier, I got a little older too... I am hoping to start using one of my birthday gifts soon, as I am hoping to start Podcasting. No promises, but I will let you know when I take the plunge. Maybe I will keep up with that a little better than the Blogging.

Well, I know this Blog has not been too inspirational or funny, but you have to get back on the horse somehow.