I'm Bringin' Funky Back... Yeah!

So the funk from my last post has not subsided. Things seem to be getting worse, honestly. (If the picture makes no sense to you... sorry).

In my own little, insignificant world, I feel like Job. Lame, huh?

We are in the process of losing our house in Michigan... April 4th if you're keeping score at home. I just got "laid off" from my job. My back has been injured somehow and I'm having trouble sleeping and some money we thought we were going to have has been "postponed." I could go on and on (and I will a little further down).

Are my circumstances different than thousands, possibly millions of other people right now? No. But it sucks nonetheless. Inside my little bubble, things just aren't going very well.

There are so many worse things to go through in life than what I am experiencing right now, so don't be offended or displeased with me for grumbling/complaining/whining... I don't mean to say that my troubles are that bad, just understand that right now, in the place that I am, I am down. A close friend of mine just went through something more painful than I have ever experienced thus far in my life, so I know that my problems are small in comparison.

Another friend of mine is on some kind of pilgrimage to distance himself from everyone he knows. It's very sad and a little strange to me, but I know that I do it myself, I pull away, I retreat from the things that cause me pain, but eventually you have to deal with them, right? Just like the house thing, I can try to ignore it all I like, but eventually the lawyers are coming and they are taking that house. It's not that we even really want the house, we tried to get rid of it, but no one wants it. The lawyers don't even want it, they want the money.

The job I started in January was a record - - actually it comes in 2nd place... I worked at a car dealership as a porter for half a day. This last job ended up being a little shy of 3 months. The hardest part for me is that the person who gave me this job was really trying to help me out - get me back on the horse, so to speak, and she wasn't making enough to support paying both of us and I had less time on the job. I went to pick up my check today and there was no evidence that I existed in that place. My email was turned off, my name taken off the mailbox, it kind of felt like I had been erased. I am still technically employed on an "as needed" basis, but it feels like there won't be much "need" for me anymore. Thankfully we talked through some things.

Then there is the whole house thing. There are people who are always there for you when times are tough... I can't mention you by name or the people that seem to be absent during these times will be offended, but you know who you are and we love you. We are so blessed by God to have you in our lives.

It really amazes me though, that some people just seem to stay away when you need them the most. Maybe they just don't know what to do. Maybe they just don't care to help. Whatever the case may be, it just reinforces things for me. I hate that too. I want to think the best, but it's hard.

I know in the end all this has been is a gripe session, but it was therapeutic. If you want to call me a whiner, feel free. Just sharing my heart.

In the end, I know that God has something going here. I have to believe that.

I'll leave you with this... one of my favorite songs says:

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

-Written by Matt & Beth Redman