FAILURE.

Before I get into this, I just want you to know this is not my "sob story." This is something that God has laid on my heart and has shed His light on. This is me being who I am, speaking my mind. I can't be afraid of what someone might think of me as they read this, I just have to write it.


Seven letters. So powerful. I hate the sight of it. Hated typing it. Can't stand hearing it.

It rules my life.

I have to be honest, there are not many times in my life that I have not felt like a failure. Remembering times that I have been told or been made to feel like a failure are easy to come by in my mind. Sometimes I feel like my identity is tied to failing.

The enemy, Satan, loves that, doesn't he? (1 Peter 5:8b) He wants to destroy us. Finding that one thing that throws your life into the abyss is his greatest work. He finds your wounds and passes the word on to all his minions.

"Guys. When you want to truly defeat Scott, tell him he's a failure. Remind him of how he has failed. Plant seeds in the minds of those in his life to make him believe he's a failure. It works everytime."


It's like a memo that they've all filed in the memory banks. They know my weakness. Failure is my kryptonite. With God I can fly like Superman. I can do all things through Him. He gives me my super powers! But somehow, I keep falling for that little piece of green rock from my home planet. The thing that can destroy me... FAILURE.

It is strange how easily I fall for it. Casual conversations can be a horrible trap set to throw me into a tail spin. In my mind I can see myself crashing. I see it coming, but he tells me I am powerless to stop it. Another lie that I have allowed to permeate my being.

Tonight, I felt it crushing down on me. Mocking me. It hurts so much. It's crippling.

By nature I am a dreamer. I dream big. In my mind there are no limits. But there is always someone there to kill those dreams. Satan uses anyone and everyone to disable me. Even those who are supposed to love me. They don't do it purposefully, but inadvertently they hit me with body shots that crumble me. Telling me my dreams are crazy and unattainable. That they lack common sense. They are not the normal. That I should conform. Be just like them.

But I am unique. As are all who read this. God made me in a special way. He made me a dreamer. That is something He lovingly put into my identity. When I dream of what could happen, He smiles. He looks around at those in Heaven with Him and beams with pride. He is proud of me! Me!! He can't wait to talk about what I am up to. It is the same for all of us. Just knowing He loves me like that gives me life.

God totally just dropped this on me...

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

The fear of failure is not of God. Love does not allow for fear. Christ does not give us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 says:

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Thank God, that my new nature - the way He has rewired me - His Holy Spirit inside me gives me back my super powers!

My identity is in Him.

Dreamers are important in this world. I watched The Aviator on Friday night and it just struck me. Howard Hughes was a dreamer. People told him he was crazy (sadly he eventually was), but he followed his dreams. He took risks. He stepped out and not only dreamed about things, but put some action behind it. The guy revolutionized the aviation business. He did things and dreamed up ways to fly that no one had the guts to do in his day.

That is the answer though. Dream all day long, but get moving on your dreams. As Elvis so eloquently sang, "A little less conversation, a little more action." While I'm sure that is not what he had in mind, the King will just have to live (he could still be alive you know) with the fact that we, the dreamers, will use it as motivation.

Faith without works... like a screen door on a submarine (thank you Rich Mullins).

It's time to step out. Our identity is found in our Heavenly Father. I'll never find what I am looking for anywhere else. I will never be complete without understanding that.

I am ready to live victoriously. Just saying that makes me dream about what is in store. There will be bumps in this road, but I must press on. Keep my eyes on Him.

Dream big.

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I just wanted to acknowledge that I talked with Cheryl and Aaron about this tonight. Thank God for both of them. He uses them in my life so much. Cheryl has supported and encouraged my dreaming ways since the day we fell in love. Aaron is always there to encourage me and speak truth into my life. Both of them are a testament to the love of Christ. They have been vessels to show His love to me and countless others.

For all my fellow dreamers out there and even you non-dreamers, give this book a look.

God Bless.