I'm a Reality Junky... Get Me Outta' Here!

There is a disturbing dirty little secret that has crept it's way back into my life... "Reality TV."

I had sworn off these horrible shows a few years ago because I found myself hating people I didn't really know. Since I say I love Jesus and am a follower of His I remember reading somewhere that you aren't supposed to hate people... something like you already murdered them in your heart, there is no light in you and so on and so on. I have since moved from hate to annoyed or mildly annoyed.

So I decided it was in my best interest to stop watching because I really hated some of these people. There was one young lady in particular on Big Brother that was a real piece of work. Chris would remember her name... she made her boyfriend look like an idiot while she was on the show, then they both showed America their wonderful relationship with a return appearance on the Amazing Race. Anyway, after a long respite from "reality," I started to let it creep back in.

These shows have to be like gold to the television industry. I wonder if in the not too distant future they will make up more than half of what we watch on TV. You may even think you are above "those silly shows" but if you watch American Idol or John & Kate Plus 8 (has anyone learned being married and a reality TV show don't mix?) or any other show that has "normal, everyday people" in it, you are one of us.

But I think it's time that we find a new name for these shows. Maybe someone has already, I don't know, but these shows are anything but real. I guess Manufactured Reality TV isn't as catchy, but it definitely is more precise. Besides the original Real World: New York way back in the day, none of these shows just follow someone in their everyday life. There is always something or someone introduced to make things happen. Whether it's a vacation, a new job opportunity and the ever popular alchohol, nothing is just real life. Why? Real life is pretty boring... it's you sitting at your desk or staring at your screen until lunch. It's you getting the kids ready in the morning or going to the bank. Real life is mundane at times.

Another disturbing reality trend are shows like Gene Simmons Family Jewels where not only are scenarios manufactured, but they are acted out. It almost seems like Gene and a staff of writers talk about funny stories they have experienced in life or "wouldn't this be funny?" moments and have Gene and his family act them out as if they are their own reality. Confused yet? Me too. It reminds me of when Kramer sells his life stories to J. Peterman on Seinfeld.

Alas, I keep watching.

Now every quasi celebrity we grew up with is getting a reality show. Corey Haim & Corey Feldman (canceled... too real when Haim got back on drugs), MC Hammer, Torri Spelling and a host of others. Not to mention shows where a bunch of celebs go on together. Even Screech has been on a bunch of these shows. You know, there was a time when reality shows gave the common man a chance to be famous... washed up celebs couldn't have that. Now we have the Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fit Club, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Outta' Here (total Survivor meets Big Brother rip off) and I'm sure there are more to come.

Why am I spouting off about all this? I have no idea... maybe to share with you so you don't feel so bad about yourself for watching or maybe so we can all admit we have a problem. All I know is I love watching these shows and then talking about how lame I am for watching them.

Plus, I would have never known anything about Spencer Pratt if it weren't for I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Outta' Here. It's like when you see the Godfather for the first and then you understand all the jokes. I would have missed out on a lot of punch lines if I hadn't learned a little about Spencer Pratt... I fear for future generations if they are learning any life lessons from the Hills.

So when all is said and done, why not take a few hours this week and plop yourself down in front of the TV and escape reality... to a simpler place where Baldwin brothers live with the guy from La Bamba and the kid from American Idol that wasn't very good but kept sticking around because of Vote for the Worst.com (so that's how Janice Dickinson is sticking around!). The psuedo reality called Reality TV.