Fatigue brings out the worst in me.
When I am tired, I am very impatient. The smallest thing will send me over the edge. I have become a lot better at not completely losing it when frustration boils over, but there is definitely a change in my demeanor.
This is another case of not living in the Spirit. When we live in the Spirit we bear the Fruit of the Spirit. Guess what? Patience is one of them. I could pat myself on the back and say, "Well, at least I didn't blow up, I had patience." Did I really? Was the patience flowing out of me naturally or did I have to struggle just to muster it up? The reality is, while outwardly I am sort of patient looking, it was not really Spirit led. I relied on my own will to make it happen.
So what's the big deal? That's how we get better at something right? We work on gaining control of it. We gradually get better at the thing we are lacking in.
I have a different opinion...
When we become followers of Jesus Christ, we are given His Holy Spirit. He lives inside of us. Now let me stop for a minute and really drive that point home. The loving, patient and perfect Spirit of God lives in us. Think about that for a moment. You have a Spirit in you that can help you be patient. He can help you be kind. He can help you speak the truth. He can reveal God's word to you. He is your personal tour guide for this thing we call life.
Are you excited yet?!? You should be. The problem as I see it is that we do not give ourselves to Him to be led by Him. We rely on ourselves. "I can learn to be patient on my own..." Can you? I beg to differ. Only when we say, "God, I can't do this on my own. I give up. I give myself to you to be led by Your Holy Spirit. Let my actions and most of all, reactions be Yours," can we truly be patient. You have to let go in order to be led by the Spirit. As Aaron said to me one time, "God is going to knock on the door but He is not going to knock it down." You have to let Him in. Let Him fill you and take over the controls.
Now I know that some people will think this is a little to extreme, but is it really? Is it extreme because we all want control and to think about losing it is very scarey to us? I would just point to the life Christ lived on this earth. He was always in contact with the Father. He never did anything without the Father(John 5:19). He was always led by Him and did what the Father was doing.
Jesus said in John 15:5 (TNIV) "I am the Vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing."
I think that says it all. Remain in Him today.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Day Five: Albuquerque & the Petrified Forrest
Albuquerque, NM
We made it into Albuquerque on Wednesday night. We had no idea what it
looked like because it was dark before we got into town. Let me tell you, in the desert when the sun goes down, it gets pitch black. You really can't see a thing.
When we woke up we saw all the mountains and amazingly blue skies. The West is just plain beautiful... I love it out here. I called Cheryl told her to start looking for a new job in Albuquerque. It's a dream, but it could happen.
Petrified Forrest, AZ
Our original plan today was to hit the Grand Canyon. We wanted to catch the sun setting into the Canyon then wake up really early and get out to see the sun come up the next day, but we got a late start and decided to hit the Petrified Forrest in Arizona. It was amazing!
Here's the thing... it's not really a forrest. You think you are going to see tons and tons of petrified rocks and the like, but really it is just a ton of some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.
You hear people say this all the time, but when yo
u see things like this you have to know that there is a God. You have to know He loves us. This stuff is just too beautiful to even capture in a picture. I kept looking out and seeing something that took my breath away so I would take a picture and look at it and just realize the only way anyone will ever understand it is to be there. So my advie to you... head out on the open road and check out this breathtaking stuff for yourself.
I want to thank all of you who are praying for us on this trip. God is working on my heart and my mind. There is a lot going on spiritually speaking... growth. Things are coming to light in the silence and in the amazement of God's awesome power and majesty. My prayer is that everyone of you will get a chance to take a journey and enjoy God's creation.
Just a note of encouragement and faith building... Mac, whom we prayed for got some good news about a spot that was possibly cancerous. Praise God and His faithfulness, it was not cancerous. Keep him in your prayers, there is more healing to come!
God is good... never forget it.
We made it into Albuquerque on Wednesday night. We had no idea what it
looked like because it was dark before we got into town. Let me tell you, in the desert when the sun goes down, it gets pitch black. You really can't see a thing.When we woke up we saw all the mountains and amazingly blue skies. The West is just plain beautiful... I love it out here. I called Cheryl told her to start looking for a new job in Albuquerque. It's a dream, but it could happen.
Petrified Forrest, AZ
Our original plan today was to hit the Grand Canyon. We wanted to catch the sun setting into the Canyon then wake up really early and get out to see the sun come up the next day, but we got a late start and decided to hit the Petrified Forrest in Arizona. It was amazing!Here's the thing... it's not really a forrest. You think you are going to see tons and tons of petrified rocks and the like, but really it is just a ton of some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.
You hear people say this all the time, but when yo
u see things like this you have to know that there is a God. You have to know He loves us. This stuff is just too beautiful to even capture in a picture. I kept looking out and seeing something that took my breath away so I would take a picture and look at it and just realize the only way anyone will ever understand it is to be there. So my advie to you... head out on the open road and check out this breathtaking stuff for yourself.I want to thank all of you who are praying for us on this trip. God is working on my heart and my mind. There is a lot going on spiritually speaking... growth. Things are coming to light in the silence and in the amazement of God's awesome power and majesty. My prayer is that everyone of you will get a chance to take a journey and enjoy God's creation.
Just a note of encouragement and faith building... Mac, whom we prayed for got some good news about a spot that was possibly cancerous. Praise God and His faithfulness, it was not cancerous. Keep him in your prayers, there is more healing to come!
God is good... never forget it.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Day Three & Four: Memphis, Little Rock & Tulsa
Memphis, TNWe left Lewisburg and headed to the home of Elvis Presley,
Memphis, TN. Aaron talked me into stopping to see Graceland and then twisted my arm and we headed to Sun Studios where tons of legends like Johnny Cash, Elvis, and many more have recorded.I got a great pic of Aaron hanging out in front of Sun Studios...
Aaron, it was worth it. Thanks.
Little Rock, AR
Let me just say to the people of Little Rock, Arkansas... I am sorry that I had a bad time. I hope that what I am about to say about your fair city will not hurt you, but... IT SUCKED!
That is kind of harsh, but a lot of things went wrong there, I just had a horrible time. No offense.
Tulsa, OK
Tulsa was one of those last minute ideas. We were really thinking
about heading to Oklahoma City, but Aaron mentioned that it would be nice to stop by and see an old friend of ours, Scott Herrold. He works for a Christian Rock station in Tulsa called the Kross.We met up with Scott for breakfast at Panera where I was able to tell you updates were coming. After that we headed to the KROS studios, 55
floors up inside the gaudy gold building. This is the same building that Oral Roberts said God told him to build or God was going to kill him... I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.Tulsa has Oral Roberts hands all over it as evidenced by those giant hands I am standing in front of... all I can say is... WOW!!
We headed back on the road with lofty ambitions of making it all the way to Albuquerque, NM. Google Maps said it would take us 11 hours, but we decided to make a reservation to spur us on toward making it there. We made it and the views in New Mexico were amazing... we will hope for the Grand Canyon tomorrow!
Thanks for the prayers.
God Bless you all and we'll talk soon.
Day One & Two: Lewisburg, TN
I thought I would break the trip down into cities instead of one huge Blog, so read away...-------------------------------
Lewisburg, TN
As I stated previously, we had many people tell us to expect a lot from God on this trip. From the moment we got in the car and started down 275 I could see this trip was going to be special. The sky was like a beautiful painting that God made for us to send us off in style. He is amazing!
We spent 2 days with Kenni and her sisters, Sally and Sandra. They let us stay with them and they were such a blessing. They are huge Red Wings fans, so we were connected immediately. Their family lived in Motown for a long time before they headed down to Tennessee.
After we went out for lunch with Kenni on Monday afternoon, we came back to her place and Aaron played two songs he wrote for us. They are truly amazing... you'll love 'em. After that we started talking and praying and then... BOOM! God showed up in a big way. We all prayed for one another and just worshipped the Father. You could feel His Presence all around us, it was incredible!
Three hours later... we needed to catch our breath. I wish I could really give you a taste of what happened, but words just can't express it.
We headed over to Kenni's parents house for a home cooked meal later that night and they were both great people that love the Lord. We talked about all sorts of things. Kenni's father, Mac, moved up from Kentucky with his wife to work for Ford Motor Company back in the day, so we chatted about Ford and the fact that my dad recently retired. I found out before we went on the trip that Mac was recently diagnosed with lung cancer.
Aaron and I had talked about praying for healing for him before we even headed out for the trip, so when the time was right, we did. After what we had experienced earlier, one would think one ecounter with the Almighty God was enough for one trip. God decided it wasn't!
As we were praying I kept hearing God say to me, "Just believe, that is all I ask. Have faith." I kept feeling Him prodding me to pray for Mac and speak the words that he laid on my heart. It was a huge step for me, but there I went. We prayed for Mac for quite a while and again, the room was just filled with an atmosphere that I can only describe as God's Glory or His Presence. When you feel something like that you realize you are experiencing something out of the ordinary, something very special.
You hear so many times that if we just "had enough faith" God would do amazing things in our life. Well, I hate to state it this way, but what if that really is true? What if God is just waiting for us to believe He will heal someone or He will rescue us from our circumstances? What if all He is asking of us is to believe? When God was speaking to me that night, I decided to take Him at His word. I believed. The enemy, Satan, came at me immediately with doubts and fears, but I decided to resist and just believe.
This trip is starting a new chapter in my life. My hope is in the Lord. I believe in Him and His promises. I will find my joy, my peace and my salvation in Him. God has never given me a reason to doubt Him, so it's time to cast doubt aside and just BELIEVE...
Tulsa...
Finally!! Internet access...
Hey, just a quick note to say that tonight when we arrive in Albuquerque, New Mexico, there will be much Blogging. I am at a Panera Bread and just about to go to hang out with Scott Herrold at his radio station for a few minutes, but I will talk more about that later.
Bye for now. Check back in the morning.
God Bless.
Hey, just a quick note to say that tonight when we arrive in Albuquerque, New Mexico, there will be much Blogging. I am at a Panera Bread and just about to go to hang out with Scott Herrold at his radio station for a few minutes, but I will talk more about that later.
Bye for now. Check back in the morning.
God Bless.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Confirmation...
It's hard to believe that Aaron and I set out on our journey tomorrow.
There are a laundry list of things that I wish I had accomplished before I left, but overall I have a real peace about this trip. Aaron mentioned on his Blog that many people have given him a word about this trip. Words about what God is going to do, what He is going to show us and who knows what else. The idea of not knowing excites me. I can't wait to share with you what God reveals about Himself and shares with us through His wonderous beauty of creation.
I know that great things are in store, not just because Aaron has heard about it, but thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law Phiona sharing the same words with me at breakfast this morning, I can say I have confirmation!
I am going to try really hard to keep everyone up to date, so check back often. Leave a comment or two to let me know you are out there too. More than anything, when you think of
me, pray for me. I covet your prayers.
First stop... Nashville! We'll see if we can't get Aaron to understand how awesome Country Music is... we can hope anyway.
God Bless.
There are a laundry list of things that I wish I had accomplished before I left, but overall I have a real peace about this trip. Aaron mentioned on his Blog that many people have given him a word about this trip. Words about what God is going to do, what He is going to show us and who knows what else. The idea of not knowing excites me. I can't wait to share with you what God reveals about Himself and shares with us through His wonderous beauty of creation.
I know that great things are in store, not just because Aaron has heard about it, but thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law Phiona sharing the same words with me at breakfast this morning, I can say I have confirmation!
I am going to try really hard to keep everyone up to date, so check back often. Leave a comment or two to let me know you are out there too. More than anything, when you think of
me, pray for me. I covet your prayers.First stop... Nashville! We'll see if we can't get Aaron to understand how awesome Country Music is... we can hope anyway.
God Bless.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Awe
I cannot remember a time that the weather in Michigan has been so beautiful for so long. It feels like an amazing gift from God. I am sitting out on our deck in the backyard typing this and the breeze and the sunshine along with the birds, trees and leaves changing color is reinforcing some teaching that I had this week.
Aaron and I have been going through a message series by Mike Bickle on Tuesday mornings. This week he talked about the Fear of the Lord and the Joy of the Lord.
There is a lot of confusion when it comes to the Fear of the Lord isn't there? I mean, for me at least it was always this idea that God - we're talking Old Testament hellfire and brimstone here - could crush you at any moment or send locusts to devour your land. Is that true? Of course it is, it could be argued very convincingly that God's judgments are happening all the time all over the world right now.
So are we supposed to be running around scared of Him, hoping that He doesn't vaporize us? There is truth in that, God is calling us to have respect and awe for Him. He is our King. We've lost that reverence for Him. There is not the same feeling in our land of "democracy," no one technically "rules" over us. Not too many people respect the President or are in awe of him.
The way I see it in Christian circles is that we have gone so far the other way - having the Joy of the Lord - that we are missing out on some amazing things in our relationship with the Father. The Joy of the Lord is delighting in the knowledge that we are sons and daughters of God. That He loves us, cares about us and delights in us. If that doesn't make you happy, start praying now. Beg for God to open your eyes and cast out lies that stop you from having that Joy of the Lord. Seriously, go ahead, I'll wait...
The problem, as I see it, is that we have lost site of His Majesty. We see Him as a Father, which is great, but we also need to see Him as King. It can go the other way as well, but I see myself falling into the Joy category a lot more than the Fear side of things.
Mike Bickle says it this way:
God is both awesome in power and gentle and loving toward us. Have you ever been singing a song about His awesomeness or His power and majesty and just felt the Spirit stir in you? It's amazing when we think or sing about it!
I love the Chris Tomlin song Indescribable. There are some lines in that song that always move me in that song. They talk about the awesome majesty of our King...
Aaron and I have been going through a message series by Mike Bickle on Tuesday mornings. This week he talked about the Fear of the Lord and the Joy of the Lord.
There is a lot of confusion when it comes to the Fear of the Lord isn't there? I mean, for me at least it was always this idea that God - we're talking Old Testament hellfire and brimstone here - could crush you at any moment or send locusts to devour your land. Is that true? Of course it is, it could be argued very convincingly that God's judgments are happening all the time all over the world right now.
So are we supposed to be running around scared of Him, hoping that He doesn't vaporize us? There is truth in that, God is calling us to have respect and awe for Him. He is our King. We've lost that reverence for Him. There is not the same feeling in our land of "democracy," no one technically "rules" over us. Not too many people respect the President or are in awe of him.
The way I see it in Christian circles is that we have gone so far the other way - having the Joy of the Lord - that we are missing out on some amazing things in our relationship with the Father. The Joy of the Lord is delighting in the knowledge that we are sons and daughters of God. That He loves us, cares about us and delights in us. If that doesn't make you happy, start praying now. Beg for God to open your eyes and cast out lies that stop you from having that Joy of the Lord. Seriously, go ahead, I'll wait...
The problem, as I see it, is that we have lost site of His Majesty. We see Him as a Father, which is great, but we also need to see Him as King. It can go the other way as well, but I see myself falling into the Joy category a lot more than the Fear side of things.
Mike Bickle says it this way:
We are not just sons and daughters, we are servants too.
He is not just our Master, but our Father as well.
We can't just delight in His love, but also be in awe of His holiness and majesty.
He is not just our Master, but our Father as well.
We can't just delight in His love, but also be in awe of His holiness and majesty.
God is both awesome in power and gentle and loving toward us. Have you ever been singing a song about His awesomeness or His power and majesty and just felt the Spirit stir in you? It's amazing when we think or sing about it!
I love the Chris Tomlin song Indescribable. There are some lines in that song that always move me in that song. They talk about the awesome majesty of our King...
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Shuffling
This morning as I clicked on my iPod, I decided to just let fate have its way and put the my playlist on shuffle. Love Song by Third Day was the first to play this morning.
I am the type of person to like a song because it sounds good. I tend to overlook lyrics a lot. Which means I can hear a song a hundred times and still be that guy on a road trip singing gibberish to a song. It also means that sometimes out of nowhere when I actually listen to a song the words nail me right between the eyes (all in God's time I guess).
It happened today. I am reading through the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, in the Bible. Studying the life of Jesus. Trying to understand the mysteries of who He is. So as I clicked on the iPod, I finally heard the lyrics to Love Song. I have to share them because it's amazing how much He loves us...
I am the type of person to like a song because it sounds good. I tend to overlook lyrics a lot. Which means I can hear a song a hundred times and still be that guy on a road trip singing gibberish to a song. It also means that sometimes out of nowhere when I actually listen to a song the words nail me right between the eyes (all in God's time I guess).
It happened today. I am reading through the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, in the Bible. Studying the life of Jesus. Trying to understand the mysteries of who He is. So as I clicked on the iPod, I finally heard the lyrics to Love Song. I have to share them because it's amazing how much He loves us...
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain, but I walked the hill of Calvary
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I'd give everything
Oh I'd give my life away
And I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dream are empty motion
It has never been done
Well I've never swam the deepest ocean, but I've walked upon the raging sea
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I would give everything
I would give my life away
And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again
Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away
I gave my life away
Just to be with you
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain, but I walked the hill of Calvary
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I'd give everything
Oh I'd give my life away
And I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dream are empty motion
It has never been done
Well I've never swam the deepest ocean, but I've walked upon the raging sea
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I would give everything
I would give my life away
And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again
Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away
I gave my life away
Just to be with you
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
It's Back!
Two sporting posts in a row... "wah-happened?" If you get that reference consider yourself a true professor of the funny.Anyway, the Wings were back in action tonight. In fact the entire NHL played tonight - all 30 teams. It was a great way to welcome back all the fans who waited while the NHL and the players hammered out their differences.
Nice to hear the, "Let's Go Red Wings" chant again.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Cursed?
Anyone who follows the Lions must have asked themselves that question at some point. Are they cursed? How can one team be so bad? Can everyone that has come to play for this franchise for the last 50 years be that unlucky?Over the past few years I have become a big fan of the NFL. Originally I was a die-hard Hockey fan - still am. The NFL has become my favorite all around sport of choice. I will watch any NFL game I can get my hands on... but honestly, I should have said I am a die-hard Red Wings fan. Now that I not only watch the Lions on Sundays and Monday nights, but the rest of the NFL as well, I have something to compare them to.
Honestly, I am not and X's & O's guy, I just know what I see. What I, the average sports fan, see is a group of talented individuals doing their own thing. I don't see a team.
In Detroit we blame Goalies in Hockey and Quarterbacks in Football. It is a storied tradition we will not soon relinquish. I find it extremely annoying. How can one man win or ruin a season? Even the biggest superstars of our lifetime had supporting casts when they finally won it all. Look at Michael Jordan... probably the closest to doing it on his own in any sport, but eventually he learned too. He needed a team. A group of guys that would band together and win together.
Winning changes everything. In this town, Scotty Bowman threatened to ship hometown hero, Steve Yzerman, out of town. The city would have none of it, more importantly, neither would the owner, Mike Illitch. When Stevie adjusted and won his first championship, everything changed. There were still problems now and again, but the team was able to co-exist because they had tasted victory together. They had fought and won the ultimate prize.
The question then becomes how do you remedy a history of losing? Is there some way to get over the hump and move on to greatness? Does hard work eventually pay off? What about oodles of hyped up first round draft picks? Is it having the right coach? The right owner? Better replay officials?
My thought is all of the above. As in any situation where success happens, many things line up and come together at just the right time. There is no magic solution. Hard work, determination, lucky bounces but most of all a TEAM. Those who are willing to go to battle together and put their differences aside on gameday. If McNabb and T.O. can do it, why not Mooch and Joey... or Joey and Charles... or Joey and Roy?
In the infamous words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"
Friday, September 30, 2005
Wake Up!!
Sorry to Doggie Blog two days in a row, but I've got to tell you about my crazy dog, Bailey.Two mornings (or nights) in a row at 4 a.m. Bailey has jumped up and barked like a crazed lunatic. Cheryl and I both jump out of our skin and try to get our hearts back to a normal rythym.
I cannot figure it out for the life of me. I get up and look outside to see if there is something that may have caused him to go crazy, but both times, nothing.
If you have heard Bailey do his protective, "Get off my property" bark, you know it will scare the "you know what" out of you. Aaron loves and hates it all at the same time. He routinely copies it in his own little Bailey voice. We laugh - - until it happens again.
The only thing I can think to do when I am awakened a 4 a.m. by "Barkin' Bailey" is pray. No, I don't pray for Bailey (although since I want to kill him when he does it, maybe he does need prayer), I just start praying. Talking with God in the still of the night.
I often have moments in the night when I am awakened for no reason whatsoever. Most times a person comes to mind, so I just start praying for them. Sometimes I don't even know what I am praying for and sometimes I don't even know who. For some reason or another, God wakes me up.
As I started writing this, I realized that God is awakening all of us...
I was talking with Mike Rice yesterday. He is a pastor at Life Church in Canton. They are in the midst of a series and Small Groups track through the book God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg. He was telling me about how sometimes it's easy to see God and other times, we either have a real hard time seeing Him or we just don't want to be seen by Him.
The key to all of this is that we have to be looking for Him. We have to be aware of His presence in our everyday lives. Whether He wakes us out of a deep sleep or starts to make summer leaves turn to beautiful fall colors, God is here.
He stands at the door and knocks... will we let Him in?
Thursday, September 29, 2005
E.
When I was a kid, I had a picture in my room that had a little boy in bed and his puppy sleeping at his feet. I dreamed of that all the time. You see, I never had a dog when I was growing up. My mom and dad weren't pet people.
I tried fish, but they were so boring. My brother had a rabbit for a while, but it was locked up in a cage and didn't play fetch with me either. I found a stray kitten one day that I begged and begged to keep. Then I found out when my eyes swelled shut that I was allergic to them. No matter what pet I tried to get to fill the void, the truth was, I was a dog person. I needed "Man's Best Friend," not a stuck up snobby cat or a boring fish.
I eventually resigned myself to having a dog when I grew up and got married.
Somewhere along the line while Cheryl and I were dating, we began to talk about how we both always wanted a dog growing up. Cheryl had no pets growing up either. As luck would have it, Cheryl finally got her wish a little over a year before we got married. She got a puppy. An amazingly cute Dalmatian named Ellie
.
She was really amazing. There were good times and bad times,
but looking back it was a lot of fun. When you don't have kids, having a dog is as close as you can get sometimes. You have all these dog stories that you tell people and I am sure that they are totally bored with them (just like some people are with stories about your kids... yes I said it). They really become a huge part of your life. They become a companion.
I had no idea what to write about today. A year ago yesterday was when Ellie had to be put to sleep. It was really hard for me. The next day we got Bailey... so much for mourning.
I'm not planning on doing this every year, but it hit me today. It sounds funny, but I don't want to forget her. She was my first dog. She was the first puppy to lay at my feet. She was the first dog to dig up our backyard or pee on our carpet. There is something special about that first dog.
Now I know why some people don't like having pets, because it is hard to say goodbye. I wouldn't trade all those great times we had together eventhough losing her was so tough.
I tried fish, but they were so boring. My brother had a rabbit for a while, but it was locked up in a cage and didn't play fetch with me either. I found a stray kitten one day that I begged and begged to keep. Then I found out when my eyes swelled shut that I was allergic to them. No matter what pet I tried to get to fill the void, the truth was, I was a dog person. I needed "Man's Best Friend," not a stuck up snobby cat or a boring fish.
I eventually resigned myself to having a dog when I grew up and got married.
Somewhere along the line while Cheryl and I were dating, we began to talk about how we both always wanted a dog growing up. Cheryl had no pets growing up either. As luck would have it, Cheryl finally got her wish a little over a year before we got married. She got a puppy. An amazingly cute Dalmatian named Ellie
.She was really amazing. There were good times and bad times,
but looking back it was a lot of fun. When you don't have kids, having a dog is as close as you can get sometimes. You have all these dog stories that you tell people and I am sure that they are totally bored with them (just like some people are with stories about your kids... yes I said it). They really become a huge part of your life. They become a companion.I had no idea what to write about today. A year ago yesterday was when Ellie had to be put to sleep. It was really hard for me. The next day we got Bailey... so much for mourning.
I'm not planning on doing this every year, but it hit me today. It sounds funny, but I don't want to forget her. She was my first dog. She was the first puppy to lay at my feet. She was the first dog to dig up our backyard or pee on our carpet. There is something special about that first dog.
Now I know why some people don't like having pets, because it is hard to say goodbye. I wouldn't trade all those great times we had together eventhough losing her was so tough.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Time Keeps on Slippin'
It's hard to believe that it has been 15 days since my last post...
People keep asking me, "Scott, what's up with the Blog? We're waiting for a new one." Well, I have to be honest, sometimes even I have nothing to say. Even a guy like me can get busy with life, church and the pursuit of happiness.
One of my main problems has been inspiration. I haven't had any. Lately I have felt like God has been silent. We all go through that, but this one has been rough for me. As my friend Aaron says, "Satan is trying to kill me." That is where I have been. Satan is on a manhunt for me and he has inflicted some damage, nothing fatal, just somewhat painful.
God definitely had some things to say today though. I have to admit, I was not ready for it. It caught me off guard. I won't go into the details just yet, but God is literally shaking things up inside of me. Sometimes that is what we need, you know. It will blow your mind when it happens, but God knows when he needs to do something to get your attention, doesn't he?
Do not fear my fellow Bloggers and all 5 of you might read this, more Bloggin' is on the way.
People keep asking me, "Scott, what's up with the Blog? We're waiting for a new one." Well, I have to be honest, sometimes even I have nothing to say. Even a guy like me can get busy with life, church and the pursuit of happiness.
One of my main problems has been inspiration. I haven't had any. Lately I have felt like God has been silent. We all go through that, but this one has been rough for me. As my friend Aaron says, "Satan is trying to kill me." That is where I have been. Satan is on a manhunt for me and he has inflicted some damage, nothing fatal, just somewhat painful.God definitely had some things to say today though. I have to admit, I was not ready for it. It caught me off guard. I won't go into the details just yet, but God is literally shaking things up inside of me. Sometimes that is what we need, you know. It will blow your mind when it happens, but God knows when he needs to do something to get your attention, doesn't he?
Do not fear my fellow Bloggers and all 5 of you might read this, more Bloggin' is on the way.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Freaks
While I like to think of myself as kind of a "weird" person, really I want to be "normal." I want to be "normal" so bad, that I look down on others that don't fit the mold.I really have a hard time with people that are different than I am. People who march to a different drummer. You see, I think that people that act differently than I do, just "don't get it" or they're oblivious to what everyone in the room is thinking.
Maybe the truth is, I really envy them a little. They are free to be themselves. I am not in that place very often. I worry about perceptions. I don't want to draw attention, because then, maybe you'll see my flaws.
No matter what, I continue to struggle with loving the "unlovable," the people that just don't fit in. The unlovable were the tax collectors and prostitutes in Jesus' time. For me they are the awkward, oblivious and draining people. Even putting a label like that on them is horrible, but it is truly how I feel.
God keeps bringing these "unlovables" into my life. It's kind of funny and sad all at the same time. It's funny because he is trying to teach me something I continue to try not to learn. It's sad for the same reason. I almost want to learn to love them so I no longer have to be around them... but that would mean I never really learned the lesson now wouldn't it?
1 John chapter 4 keeps coming to mind...
7 My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. 8 The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love - so you can't know him if you don't love.
Like a dagger to my heart every time!
I know that I need to love the "unlovable" especially my brothers and sisters in Christ, but it is so hard. Whenever I struggle with this, a somewhat cheesy song pops into my head from the album Petra Praise 2: We Need Jesus, it's from the song "We Need Jesus." The lyrics ask:
When will the world see that we need Jesus?
When we share the love of Jesus,
See each other as He sees us.
Then His love will see us through.
That kills me... tears come to my eyes every time I hear it. God sees me as beautiful, someone He wants and loves to spend time with. He doesn't see a broken person. He doesn't see my failures. He doesn't see me as awkward, oblivious or draining. He loves me.
So here I am again, trying to learn that lesson. Trying to see others the way my Father sees them. He delights in them. He loves their "different-ness" and their quirks. My prayer is that His ways will truly become my ways.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Need vs. Needed
I got a chance to head out to Kensington Community Church in Troy today to hear Alex McManus speak on church planting. I will also be attending a conference tomorrow that Alex will be teaching at in Royal Oak. Alex may be known by some as the brother of Erwin McManus, pastor of Mosaic Church in California.
It was great to spend some time with him this afternoon. He is excited about Christ... I love listening to people that are excited about their walk with Christ. It inspires me. It reminds me of what I have in Him.
I am not going to say much tonight, I'm sure more will follow tomorrow, but one thing Alex said really stuck with me. It drives deep into many of the problems with the church today. This is not word for word, but the basic idea, as I understood it, was this:
When we lose ourselves in Christ and look to Him rather than tradition or what has worked in the past, we become people that are needed by the Church rather than someone who needs the church to survive. When we realize that we were meant to "announce the Kingdom, not just to build it," we are needed by the Church rather than needing it and it alone.
Before all my Fundamental Brethren jump down my throat, hear me out first. I am not saying that we don't need each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. But let's be honest here, we have become so dependent on "church" to do the work of Christ for us that we have become incredibly dependent on it. "Bring your friends to church this week." No harm in that, but aren't your friends really going to see Christ lived out in you?
We have become so conditioned to rely on fancy programs and outreach events at our churches that living out our lives authentically comes in second. Where is the excitement? He is alive! He is coming back someday! God is setting up His Kingdom!! We should be shouting it in the streets, but we don't want to offend.
Paul didn't decide that Ephesus would be a great place to start a church, the Church started without him. No special programs or events needed. He came to them to encourage and disciple them. The Ephesians were proud to announce that God's Kingdom was coming. That is why people were drawn to them.
My hope is that my mindset will change. That my heart will align with Christ. It is time to let people know that God is here and He has plans to build His Kingdom... get on board and enjoy the ride!
It was great to spend some time with him this afternoon. He is excited about Christ... I love listening to people that are excited about their walk with Christ. It inspires me. It reminds me of what I have in Him.
I am not going to say much tonight, I'm sure more will follow tomorrow, but one thing Alex said really stuck with me. It drives deep into many of the problems with the church today. This is not word for word, but the basic idea, as I understood it, was this:
When we lose ourselves in Christ and look to Him rather than tradition or what has worked in the past, we become people that are needed by the Church rather than someone who needs the church to survive. When we realize that we were meant to "announce the Kingdom, not just to build it," we are needed by the Church rather than needing it and it alone.
Before all my Fundamental Brethren jump down my throat, hear me out first. I am not saying that we don't need each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. But let's be honest here, we have become so dependent on "church" to do the work of Christ for us that we have become incredibly dependent on it. "Bring your friends to church this week." No harm in that, but aren't your friends really going to see Christ lived out in you?
We have become so conditioned to rely on fancy programs and outreach events at our churches that living out our lives authentically comes in second. Where is the excitement? He is alive! He is coming back someday! God is setting up His Kingdom!! We should be shouting it in the streets, but we don't want to offend.
Paul didn't decide that Ephesus would be a great place to start a church, the Church started without him. No special programs or events needed. He came to them to encourage and disciple them. The Ephesians were proud to announce that God's Kingdom was coming. That is why people were drawn to them.
My hope is that my mindset will change. That my heart will align with Christ. It is time to let people know that God is here and He has plans to build His Kingdom... get on board and enjoy the ride!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
With the First Pick...
I am finally back.
So where was I? Let me just tell you that these past two weeks have been a frenzy. What could possibly have stopped me from Blogging all my hopes and dreams for everyone to enjoy?
Fantasy Football.
Yes, Fantasy Football. I am a Fantasy Football Geek. I have five teams this year! So this week I had five drafts and had to prepare... even I think this sounds crazy.
If you have never played Fantasy Football before, let me try and explain it. The basic idea is that you pick players from NFL teams to form your very own "fantasy" team. Usually you have a Quarterback, two Running Backs, three Wide Receivers, a Tight End, a Team Defense and a Kicker. Each Sunday and Monday Night your players (hopefully) score points for your fantasy team. You play against another fantasy team in your league and whoever scores the most points wins that week.
When you think about it, whoever created it had to be a marketing genius. When you have a fantasy team, not only are you following your home team (the sad, sad Lions) but you are now watching other teams that have your players on them.
Many people have strong opinions about Fantasy Football. You love it and totally get it or you think it is a stupid waste of time. Let me explain why I enjoy it. First off, football is fun to watch. I love the NFL. There is nothing better than sitting down on a beautiful fall afternoon and watching grown men pummel one another.
The thing about Fantasy Football is that it brings you together with other people that love football just like you. On top of that, it keeps me in touch with people that I would not normally see on a regular basis.
Yesterday, I had a draft with a group of guys that I only see maybe two or three times a year. They are a lot of fun and this is one of the times that I know I will always get a chance to see them. I have a church league and a league that keeps me in contact with one of my oldest friends in South Carolina. To me, there is just a camaraderie that comes from it. It gives you an opportunity to meet and be in the lives of people that you might not ordinarily come in contact with.
For me, that makes it all worth it.
So where was I? Let me just tell you that these past two weeks have been a frenzy. What could possibly have stopped me from Blogging all my hopes and dreams for everyone to enjoy?
Fantasy Football.
Yes, Fantasy Football. I am a Fantasy Football Geek. I have five teams this year! So this week I had five drafts and had to prepare... even I think this sounds crazy.
If you have never played Fantasy Football before, let me try and explain it. The basic idea is that you pick players from NFL teams to form your very own "fantasy" team. Usually you have a Quarterback, two Running Backs, three Wide Receivers, a Tight End, a Team Defense and a Kicker. Each Sunday and Monday Night your players (hopefully) score points for your fantasy team. You play against another fantasy team in your league and whoever scores the most points wins that week.
When you think about it, whoever created it had to be a marketing genius. When you have a fantasy team, not only are you following your home team (the sad, sad Lions) but you are now watching other teams that have your players on them.
Many people have strong opinions about Fantasy Football. You love it and totally get it or you think it is a stupid waste of time. Let me explain why I enjoy it. First off, football is fun to watch. I love the NFL. There is nothing better than sitting down on a beautiful fall afternoon and watching grown men pummel one another.
The thing about Fantasy Football is that it brings you together with other people that love football just like you. On top of that, it keeps me in touch with people that I would not normally see on a regular basis.
Yesterday, I had a draft with a group of guys that I only see maybe two or three times a year. They are a lot of fun and this is one of the times that I know I will always get a chance to see them. I have a church league and a league that keeps me in contact with one of my oldest friends in South Carolina. To me, there is just a camaraderie that comes from it. It gives you an opportunity to meet and be in the lives of people that you might not ordinarily come in contact with.
For me, that makes it all worth it.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Burn for You
My friend Bill gave me a Remix of Toby Mac's Diverse City when I met him in Columbus this weekend (I like the Remix better than the original). By the way Toby, if you read this, it's time to get DCT back together!
Anyway, one song on the album just keeps going in my head lately, "Burn for You."
It makes me think about how much God has changed me this year. Thinking about it really excites me! He has brought me to places I never thought possible and I feel energized. I know that in this life there are ups and downs, but God is always there to renew us... to move us.
Taking time to remember all the things He has done in me gives me hope and renewal. It sparks off a brand new REVIVAL!
You gotta' love that.
Burn for You by Toby Mac
I’m a brand new man, I’m a conscious man
I’m a man who’s burnin’ for you
The mistakes I’ve made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue
I’m a brand new man in a foreign land, I’m a man who’s feelin’ that fire
And it’s all so clear when I’m standing here at the peak of my desire
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
Woke up in a sweat, those ghosts in my head
Had a grip, but I slipped on by
It’s a whole new day as the darkness fades
And the sun’s climbing in the sky
I concede, my love, that I need your love
I’m before you, a broken man
And it’s only you, no substitutes who can renew this soul again
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
You got me higher than Kilimanjaro
Got me believin’ I can “save the day”
I’m up and running like their ain’t no tomorrow
I’d rather burn for you than fade away
I’d rather burn for you than go my way
I’m a whole new guy with a whole new vibe
Changed inside – more flame in the fire
Can’t stop, won’t stop praying for desire
Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized
Old shell gone without a trace, new face
No more shortness of breath, new pace
Live life now without the taste of fear
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
Friday, August 26, 2005
The Office
Cheryl pulled out the first season of the Office last night. Not talking about the NBC show here people. We're talking about the original BBC version. Chock full o' British humor at it's finest.
If you have never seen this show, you must do so. It may take you a while to understand the words coming out of their mouths and yes there is some rather crude humor from time to time, but this show is amazing.
The sitcom as we used to know it is dying away. People are going to have to come up with new ways to sell comedy. The Office does that. Shows like Arrested Development, Scrubs and Curb Your Enthusiasm are shows that are taking comedy in a new direction.
Just a disclaimer before you sit the kids down to watch any of the afformentioned shows... they are for big kids with a sense of humor. Don't watch any of them if you are easily offended.
So take a chance and pick up The Office from Netflix and get ready to laugh... once you figure out what they are saying.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Nu Thang!
So I am trying this new thing...
What I do, is go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up very early in the morning. Not as easy as it sounds, you know?
I have always been a "Night Owl." For some reason I have bought into this idea that I am more creative or "hit my stride" when everyone else is hitting the sack. Granted, there is solitude at night. It gives you a chance to be alone with your thoughts. But most of the time it just means you flip around on the TV or go on wild goose chases all over the internet... I will literally sit down and open the laptop to look at the weather and end up reading about why ragweed makes me sneeze sometimes, then try to find home remedies and end up taking some hour long survey to win a free iPod!
Trifling.
So the other reason that I became a late night guy, was that I never wanted to miss anything. That sounds weird, but hear me out. When I was a little kid, I can remember my parents having people over or they were just watching TV or talking and I, of course, had to go to bed. It was brutal... my dad would sing this song (to the "Good Night Ladies" song):
Good Night Scottie.
Good Night Scottie.
Good Night Scottie, we're sorry to see you go.
So anyway, they would send me to bed, but I would not go to sleep. I would sit up and listen really closely to what they were talking about or what they were watching. Many times I would try to come up with a way to get out of my room to get into the action.
The usual trick was to say I needed a drink of water. So I would go into the kitchen and get the drink and stay very, very quiet so they forgot about me. Then I would listen intently and enjoy the night... until they heard me and sent me packin'. I can also remember when company was over coming out and asking a question and eventually taking center stage somehow to entertain. I figured if I was entertaining enough I would put off the "Good Night Scottie" song for a while.
So here I am. Trying to make a transformation from "Night Owl" to "Early Bird."
What I do, is go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up very early in the morning. Not as easy as it sounds, you know?
I have always been a "Night Owl." For some reason I have bought into this idea that I am more creative or "hit my stride" when everyone else is hitting the sack. Granted, there is solitude at night. It gives you a chance to be alone with your thoughts. But most of the time it just means you flip around on the TV or go on wild goose chases all over the internet... I will literally sit down and open the laptop to look at the weather and end up reading about why ragweed makes me sneeze sometimes, then try to find home remedies and end up taking some hour long survey to win a free iPod!
Trifling.
So the other reason that I became a late night guy, was that I never wanted to miss anything. That sounds weird, but hear me out. When I was a little kid, I can remember my parents having people over or they were just watching TV or talking and I, of course, had to go to bed. It was brutal... my dad would sing this song (to the "Good Night Ladies" song):
Good Night Scottie.
Good Night Scottie.
Good Night Scottie, we're sorry to see you go.
So anyway, they would send me to bed, but I would not go to sleep. I would sit up and listen really closely to what they were talking about or what they were watching. Many times I would try to come up with a way to get out of my room to get into the action.
The usual trick was to say I needed a drink of water. So I would go into the kitchen and get the drink and stay very, very quiet so they forgot about me. Then I would listen intently and enjoy the night... until they heard me and sent me packin'. I can also remember when company was over coming out and asking a question and eventually taking center stage somehow to entertain. I figured if I was entertaining enough I would put off the "Good Night Scottie" song for a while.
So here I am. Trying to make a transformation from "Night Owl" to "Early Bird."
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Lock Down
Sometimes in unfamiliar surroundings we forget the most basic of things.
For example...
I was at my mom and dad's house the other day with our dog, Bailey. I was just about to leave after working on the pool and a few other chores. Bailey and I came into the house and prepared to head back home. I got all my things together and set them on the table and remembered that I needed to bring something in from outside. I told Bailey to stay inside and I would be right back...
You know, at my house, when you lock the door, you can't turn the knob. I guess that is not the case at my parent's house. As I walked out the door, shutting it behind me so my little furry friend wouldn't follow, I got that bad feeling in my stomach like I had just done something very stupid... I did.
I locked my keys, my phone, my shoes, my wallet and my one year old puppy in the house! First I felt like an idiot. Next I did what anyone would do to cover their mistake, I tried to break into the house. How I thought I could do this is still a mystery, but I tried. All for nothing.
Now I had to figure out how to contact someone with a key. So I saw a neighbor pulling into their driveway and asked to use their phone. I called Cheryl to talk with my brother, Matt, so they could come home and help me.
In the mean time, I hear Bailey, barking and crying. "Where did you go? Why did you lock me in here?" So I went to the back window and looked in. I called out his name and he came running. He jumped up on the couch and stared out the window at me. It was like 90 degrees on Friday, so eventually, I sat down by the doorwall in a chair. Mom and dad have these giant shutter contraptions that cover the slider. Bailey barked a few times then I saw these giant shutters shake and move. Suddenly I see this little wet doggie nose pushing them apart. He got them open just enough so that he could see me sitting there.
So there we sat. Bailey staring at me, always keeping me in sight.
In that moment, I thought to myself, Isn't this how I should be? Shouldn't I long to see God like this? Keeping my eyes on Him, shouldn't that be my priority? The thing that calms me and gives me a sense of security...
I am learning God. Sometimes it takes a moment of forgetfullness to remember how important You are in my life.
For example...
I was at my mom and dad's house the other day with our dog, Bailey. I was just about to leave after working on the pool and a few other chores. Bailey and I came into the house and prepared to head back home. I got all my things together and set them on the table and remembered that I needed to bring something in from outside. I told Bailey to stay inside and I would be right back...
You know, at my house, when you lock the door, you can't turn the knob. I guess that is not the case at my parent's house. As I walked out the door, shutting it behind me so my little furry friend wouldn't follow, I got that bad feeling in my stomach like I had just done something very stupid... I did.
I locked my keys, my phone, my shoes, my wallet and my one year old puppy in the house! First I felt like an idiot. Next I did what anyone would do to cover their mistake, I tried to break into the house. How I thought I could do this is still a mystery, but I tried. All for nothing.
Now I had to figure out how to contact someone with a key. So I saw a neighbor pulling into their driveway and asked to use their phone. I called Cheryl to talk with my brother, Matt, so they could come home and help me.
In the mean time, I hear Bailey, barking and crying. "Where did you go? Why did you lock me in here?" So I went to the back window and looked in. I called out his name and he came running. He jumped up on the couch and stared out the window at me. It was like 90 degrees on Friday, so eventually, I sat down by the doorwall in a chair. Mom and dad have these giant shutter contraptions that cover the slider. Bailey barked a few times then I saw these giant shutters shake and move. Suddenly I see this little wet doggie nose pushing them apart. He got them open just enough so that he could see me sitting there.
So there we sat. Bailey staring at me, always keeping me in sight.
In that moment, I thought to myself, Isn't this how I should be? Shouldn't I long to see God like this? Keeping my eyes on Him, shouldn't that be my priority? The thing that calms me and gives me a sense of security...
I am learning God. Sometimes it takes a moment of forgetfullness to remember how important You are in my life.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
My Dirty Little Secret
I can't hide it anymore. Somehow, some way, people are going to find out and I might as well be made fun of know instead of later.
I like Country Music.
There, I said it. What a relief!
Luckily I am finding more and more people that also enjoy it, so I am not feeling so weird about it. Cheryl has always enjoyed it, but while we were at Shandy's house yesterday, I also found out she likes it. I should have known though, she is from Texas after all, but her husband even likes it. Our Pastor, Scott, likes Bluegrass, so he is almost there. He was making fun of us for liking it and I was kind of like, "Umm, Bluegrass? Do you have room to talk?"
He also laughed at me for celebrating my dog's birthday... it's a shame when a man can't express love to his loyal poochy companion. Maybe someday he'll be enlightened.
Back to the point...
I wanted to get all this out there because I heard a great song this morning as I was waking up by Ketih Urban (Australian Country Singer... Goo'Day Y'all). Part of the reason I enjoy country music so much, is that is says something. The songs are stories. There are things that you can laugh at, cry over (isn't that right Cheryl) and identify with in most of the songs that I am drawn to.
I am going to get mushy again, but I loved this song. So here it is.
My Better Half
Car door slams, it's been a long day at work
I'm out on the freeway and I'm wondering if it's all worth
The price that I pay, sometimes it doesn't seem fair
I pull into the drive and you're standing there
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
You pull me close and you hold me tight
It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half
They say behind every man is a good woman
But I think that's a lie
'Cause when it comes to you I'd rather have you by my side
You don't know how much I count on you to help me
When I've given everything I got and I just feel like giving in
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and you me tight
It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half
Well, you take my hand
You pull me close and I understand
It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe that we can make it through anything
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Bailey Boy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAILEY!
I can't believe this cute little puppy is now our BIG Bailey Boy! This picture was taken the night we picked him out. He was six weeks old.
Bailey has had his ups and downs over the past year, but he has been a great little guy overall. I'm sure that we spoil him to death, but look at that face, how can we resist?
If you've met him, I'm sure you know how much he loves people. Evidenced by the constant attack he sends your way trying to receive your affections. It really drives me crazy when he acts that way, but I have to remember (and I hope you do too) he's only a puppy. At the age of one, he is pretty well behaved. No problems with relieving himself in the house. In fact, that happened maybe 2 or 3 times the first two weeks he was with us and never again. He doesn't destroy things (unless they are meant to be). He still needs to learn to come to his owners when they call, but he is great little companion.
Cheryl and I are very happy to have him in our lives. He makes me laugh. He makes me angry sometimes. He really makes my life an adventure and I love that about him.
Some people treat their animals like their children... I think we can be that way sometimes, but when you see that cute little face look up at you, how can you not love him? Not easy is it?
I can't believe this cute little puppy is now our BIG Bailey Boy! This picture was taken the night we picked him out. He was six weeks old.
Bailey has had his ups and downs over the past year, but he has been a great little guy overall. I'm sure that we spoil him to death, but look at that face, how can we resist?
If you've met him, I'm sure you know how much he loves people. Evidenced by the constant attack he sends your way trying to receive your affections. It really drives me crazy when he acts that way, but I have to remember (and I hope you do too) he's only a puppy. At the age of one, he is pretty well behaved. No problems with relieving himself in the house. In fact, that happened maybe 2 or 3 times the first two weeks he was with us and never again. He doesn't destroy things (unless they are meant to be). He still needs to learn to come to his owners when they call, but he is great little companion.
Cheryl and I are very happy to have him in our lives. He makes me laugh. He makes me angry sometimes. He really makes my life an adventure and I love that about him.
Some people treat their animals like their children... I think we can be that way sometimes, but when you see that cute little face look up at you, how can you not love him? Not easy is it?
Sunday, August 14, 2005
The Girl of My Dreams
Do you remember your one true love in high school?
Me too, she was so beautiful. We fell in love instantly. We spent every waking moment together. Let me start from the beginning though. There were some things that needed to align themselves in order for us to find that cute high school love.
In our freshman year we got two new girls to our little private school. This was great news because many of the other girls had thrown me into the friend zone over our time in elementary and junior high school. As these two new girls walked into homeroom on the first day of classes I was immediately smitten by a brown haired blue eyed babe.
As the weeks went by one of the girls in class became pretty good friends with the two of these girls. Doing the typical high school thing, I asked through another girl if the new beauty had any interest in me. Word came back that she thought I was funny (heard that before) but was not interested in me as a boyfriend. I found out later that this was actually not the case, she had no aversion to me as a boyfriend at all. I found that out way down the road, so I decided to concentrate on other prospects.
One Spring afternoon in gym class our group of fine students was learning to play golf. We were standing in a line along the school building swinging nine irons at little wiffle golf balls. I hate golf, I have no patience for it. As I followed through on one of my swings I heard a giant smack. I thought I hit the side of the building with the club. I turned around to find the dream girl on one knee holding her head and saying, "I'm okay." As she pulled her hand away, blood ran down the side of her head. I called for our teacher and they quickly took her off to the nurse and eventually to the hospital for stitches.
I felt horrible. What had I done? This girl literally was in modeling... I had ruined her career. Now how would I ever win her affections? She would probably never forgive me.
My remorse was eating me up inside, so I had a friends brother drive me to her house to apologize. I bought a basket with a bunch of stuffed animal kittens in it. When we got to her house, I was so nervous. I rang the doorbell and talked with her parents and apologized a million times. I gave her my peace offering and hoped for the best.
Fast forward to our junior year of high school (1988). This beautiful young lady and I were talking one day. As devious as this sounds, she and a friend were having a bit of a spat, so we decided to play a little trick on her. Her friend liked me (I had no interest) and we thought it would be funny if we pretended to date. Now, at this point in my high school career, I had given up on this beautiful woman and moved on to others. So we proceeded with our little plan. I gave her my varsity jacket to wear around school to make things look legit. We were eating lunch together and hanging out quite a bit.
One day in Bible class I looked across the room and remembered that amazing feeling that I had the first time I saw her. Little did I know, but she was looking back at me in the same class thinking there was something about me she really liked too. She mentioned this to a friend of hers who was dating one of my good friends. So back and forth it went until finally we both knew how the other was feeling. And that is where it all started. We had fallen for one another.
We had our ups and downs, just like any high school romance does. The disapproving father. The immaturity of the class clown she was dating. As well as all the other things that go along with men and women in a relationship. Somehow we made it.
Let's jump ahead again. August 14th, 1993. That is the day that I made that beautiful girl my wife. Of course I had to club her over the head with a golf club like a caveman, but she married me anyway.
Each year is better than the last. I love her more every day.
Happy 12th Anniversary Cheryl.
I love you.
"You're a Godsend. A blessing from above."
Me too, she was so beautiful. We fell in love instantly. We spent every waking moment together. Let me start from the beginning though. There were some things that needed to align themselves in order for us to find that cute high school love.
In our freshman year we got two new girls to our little private school. This was great news because many of the other girls had thrown me into the friend zone over our time in elementary and junior high school. As these two new girls walked into homeroom on the first day of classes I was immediately smitten by a brown haired blue eyed babe.
As the weeks went by one of the girls in class became pretty good friends with the two of these girls. Doing the typical high school thing, I asked through another girl if the new beauty had any interest in me. Word came back that she thought I was funny (heard that before) but was not interested in me as a boyfriend. I found out later that this was actually not the case, she had no aversion to me as a boyfriend at all. I found that out way down the road, so I decided to concentrate on other prospects.
One Spring afternoon in gym class our group of fine students was learning to play golf. We were standing in a line along the school building swinging nine irons at little wiffle golf balls. I hate golf, I have no patience for it. As I followed through on one of my swings I heard a giant smack. I thought I hit the side of the building with the club. I turned around to find the dream girl on one knee holding her head and saying, "I'm okay." As she pulled her hand away, blood ran down the side of her head. I called for our teacher and they quickly took her off to the nurse and eventually to the hospital for stitches.
I felt horrible. What had I done? This girl literally was in modeling... I had ruined her career. Now how would I ever win her affections? She would probably never forgive me.
My remorse was eating me up inside, so I had a friends brother drive me to her house to apologize. I bought a basket with a bunch of stuffed animal kittens in it. When we got to her house, I was so nervous. I rang the doorbell and talked with her parents and apologized a million times. I gave her my peace offering and hoped for the best.
Fast forward to our junior year of high school (1988). This beautiful young lady and I were talking one day. As devious as this sounds, she and a friend were having a bit of a spat, so we decided to play a little trick on her. Her friend liked me (I had no interest) and we thought it would be funny if we pretended to date. Now, at this point in my high school career, I had given up on this beautiful woman and moved on to others. So we proceeded with our little plan. I gave her my varsity jacket to wear around school to make things look legit. We were eating lunch together and hanging out quite a bit.
One day in Bible class I looked across the room and remembered that amazing feeling that I had the first time I saw her. Little did I know, but she was looking back at me in the same class thinking there was something about me she really liked too. She mentioned this to a friend of hers who was dating one of my good friends. So back and forth it went until finally we both knew how the other was feeling. And that is where it all started. We had fallen for one another.
We had our ups and downs, just like any high school romance does. The disapproving father. The immaturity of the class clown she was dating. As well as all the other things that go along with men and women in a relationship. Somehow we made it.
Let's jump ahead again. August 14th, 1993. That is the day that I made that beautiful girl my wife. Of course I had to club her over the head with a golf club like a caveman, but she married me anyway.
Each year is better than the last. I love her more every day.
Happy 12th Anniversary Cheryl.
I love you.
"You're a Godsend. A blessing from above."
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Hotel Rwanda
All I can say is... Wow.
Cheryl and I just finished watching the movie Hotel Rwanda which is a film about the genocide of almost one million Tutsi people by the Hutu in Rwanda. To say I was moved would be an understatement.
America and other western countries stood by and watched this happen. It makes you angry and feeling helpless at the same time.
You begin to ask yourself, "What can one person do?" It seems like such an impossible task. How can I make a difference?
My hope is that all of us will stop asking how and just start reaching out. I'm saying that for my own benefit as well. I have no idea how to solve all the world's problems, nor do I think I can do it either. But I must begin to show the love of Christ to all I encounter. That is the challenge. That is the goal. That is all that He asks.
Cheryl and I just finished watching the movie Hotel Rwanda which is a film about the genocide of almost one million Tutsi people by the Hutu in Rwanda. To say I was moved would be an understatement.
America and other western countries stood by and watched this happen. It makes you angry and feeling helpless at the same time.
You begin to ask yourself, "What can one person do?" It seems like such an impossible task. How can I make a difference?
My hope is that all of us will stop asking how and just start reaching out. I'm saying that for my own benefit as well. I have no idea how to solve all the world's problems, nor do I think I can do it either. But I must begin to show the love of Christ to all I encounter. That is the challenge. That is the goal. That is all that He asks.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Only in My Dreams
O.K. This one may sound a little strange to some of you, but here I go.
When I actually remember my dreams, they are always something horrible. Seriously, I never remember the good stuff. Nothing with me flying or having fun, only horribly uncomfortable situations.
The worst part about these dreams is that they are so real. I wake up and feel like it has all really taken place. Sometimes I will literally wake up crying because of the things that happen in my dreams. Now, before we carry me away in a straight jacket, these dreams are not frequent. But when they do happen they really throw me for a loop.
Last night I had such a dream. Usually the theme has to do with losing Cheryl. Somehow our realtionship falls apart and I end up losing her. It devestates me. Like I said, it feels real.
Here's the thing, I really believe this to be another tactic of the Enemy to try to destroy me, to shake my faith. I have to say, that until recently, I would have never bought into all this spiritual warfare stuff. I always thought it was a nice way for people to blame all their problems on someone other than themselves. The question is, how can we deny that Satan will attack and use any means necessary to take us down? If he lurks around looking for ways to destroy us, why not try our dreams?
Ephesians 6:12 says:
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
This chapter in Ephesians sets up something all of us need to do daily. A woman I met this year encouraged me to put on my armor. To literally pray this scripture every night before my head hits the pillow and every morning before my feet hit the floor.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with th
e breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
I have gotten away from this over the past couple months. My life is a battle. I need my armor to make it through the day.
The truth must hold things together for me. I am righteous in God's sight because of the work Christ did on the cross. The breastplate covers my heart, my soul and all of my vitality from the lies of Satan that claim I am not righteous in God's sight. My feet must be firmly planted in Christ. And while Satan throws all he can at me to destroy me, my faith in Christ protects me. Salvation given to us through Christ protects our minds, our thoughts.
The best part of all this is the Sword. It is the only offensive weapon we have. Jesus used it while being tempted in the wilderness. So can we. Not only that, we can hear His voice! We have the Holy Spirit. He guides us and helps us as we listen for His voice.
So put on your armor and dream away!
When I actually remember my dreams, they are always something horrible. Seriously, I never remember the good stuff. Nothing with me flying or having fun, only horribly uncomfortable situations.
The worst part about these dreams is that they are so real. I wake up and feel like it has all really taken place. Sometimes I will literally wake up crying because of the things that happen in my dreams. Now, before we carry me away in a straight jacket, these dreams are not frequent. But when they do happen they really throw me for a loop.
Last night I had such a dream. Usually the theme has to do with losing Cheryl. Somehow our realtionship falls apart and I end up losing her. It devestates me. Like I said, it feels real.
Here's the thing, I really believe this to be another tactic of the Enemy to try to destroy me, to shake my faith. I have to say, that until recently, I would have never bought into all this spiritual warfare stuff. I always thought it was a nice way for people to blame all their problems on someone other than themselves. The question is, how can we deny that Satan will attack and use any means necessary to take us down? If he lurks around looking for ways to destroy us, why not try our dreams?
Ephesians 6:12 says:
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
This chapter in Ephesians sets up something all of us need to do daily. A woman I met this year encouraged me to put on my armor. To literally pray this scripture every night before my head hits the pillow and every morning before my feet hit the floor.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with th
e breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.I have gotten away from this over the past couple months. My life is a battle. I need my armor to make it through the day.
The truth must hold things together for me. I am righteous in God's sight because of the work Christ did on the cross. The breastplate covers my heart, my soul and all of my vitality from the lies of Satan that claim I am not righteous in God's sight. My feet must be firmly planted in Christ. And while Satan throws all he can at me to destroy me, my faith in Christ protects me. Salvation given to us through Christ protects our minds, our thoughts.
The best part of all this is the Sword. It is the only offensive weapon we have. Jesus used it while being tempted in the wilderness. So can we. Not only that, we can hear His voice! We have the Holy Spirit. He guides us and helps us as we listen for His voice.
So put on your armor and dream away!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Livin' Large
If you know me or have ever met me, you know that I am a big fella'. A doctor once told me that I was "grossly obese," which sounds horrible and it is. Facts are, I have battled the bulge for many years. Seems like it has been an issue my entire life.
I have tried every thing under the sun with moderate to amazing success in losing weight, but somehow or another I "find" it again! Vicious cycle, you know. Much of my life is spent thinking about how out of shape I have become and trying to find that magic remedy.
To make matters worse, most people are insanely insensitive to fat people. They ask you things like, "How did you get so fat?" or "Have you always been this big?" Then you have the children who don't know any better. The truth just comes out, but it still stings a bit... "You're fat." What do you say to a kid when they say that? You can let 'em have it and send them crying to their mommies or just tell them the truth which I usually do, "I ate too much food and sat around a lot." Worst of all are the people that point or stare and make fun of you. Perfect strangers who elbow one another to point out the giant man that has decided to venture out into the real world today.
These situations make you want to stay at home and live life as a hobbit (not the Lord of the Rings kind either). You fear exposing yourself to a cruel world, hell bent on image and beauty. Lashing out at these idiots seems like an good option sometimes, but it would just leave you feeling even more empty inside.
My coping mechanism is to make fun of myself before anyone gets the chance. I built a semi-decent comedy routine around it. Pointing out something everyone is thinking about you seems to put them at ease. It's like they want to ask one another, "Does he know how huge he is?" Letting them know you are aware makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I remove myself from any situation that might bring light to my affliction. More and more, I protect myself by holding back from normal activities. On top of all that, Satan plays into all my fears. "If you go out to eat here, you'll be too fat to sit anywhere." "You can't go there, you'll have to walk to far and you'll sweat like a pig." "You're going to have a heart attack and die." So I don't experience life, I hide myself away.
Throughout this struggle one of my best friends and I have compared horror stories as well as the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain. We always like to hear what the other one is doing about their fatness. In typical fashion I recently asked my friend what program he was on and what he was doing to "fix" himself. What he said to me threw me for a loop. He said, "Scott, I am trying to learn to be comfortable in my own skin." It blew me away. How can we be comfortable like this? How can we like who we are? How can others like who we are?
God really started to hit me between the eyes with this one. Being comfortable with myself. Now before you start saying, "Scott, it's unhealthy." I am not trying to say that I should just throw in the towel and balloon until they have to cut a hole in my wall and take me out of bed with a forklift. I am saying that God wants me to know that He loves me. He doesn't say, "How did you get so fat Scott?" He says, "I am proud of you. I love you." He looks at the inside, not the outer shell (1 Samuel 16:7).
God has been challenging me to do things that I am afraid of. I have made some actual strides lately too. I walked up and down a gazillion stairs to Lake Michigan for the first time in years. I was terrified for ages that I would go into cardiac arrest. I just asked God to protect me and to help me overcome that lie from the Devil. He told me, "Go ahead. Trust Me." It was like an adrenaline rush. My feet had not touched that water in so long, I forgot how great it feels.
This past weekend back at Lake Michigan God threw down another challenge. My wife and her side of the family were out on the boat in Lake Michigan. My nephews wanted to drive a few miles out and dive in and swim. I love to swim, not in front of people, but I love to swim. I grew up with a pool and I still swim regularly at my parents house to this day, but not in front of people. I could never allow them to see my body. I couldn't dare. I felt God telling me to "dive in" and enjoy the crystal clear water.
As I decided whether or not to go into the water, the lies started coming. "They are going to see how fat you are and be disgusted." "You will never be able to climb back into the boat, you're too fat." "You'll probably go so deep when you jump in that you'll drown yourself." That is the one that really made me want to laugh. Satan was grasping at straws on that one. That did it, I was going in. In my head the song "Dive" by Steven Curtis Chapman played like a soundtrack.
God was asking me to cleanse myself. I really believe that. He was asking me to dive in and let the water cleanse my soul. Remove the lies. Renew my soul. Be surrounded by it. It was literally like a baptism. Once I was in I felt incredible. There was still some fear there, but I was taking steps. I made an effort to move out of what had become comfortable.
My identity is not found in what I look like. I will not let myself believe that I am just another "fat guy." My identity is in Christ. I am a new creation in Him. The Holy Spirit is moving inside me and turning me into the man that God sees. The one He is proud of. The one He loves.
I have tried every thing under the sun with moderate to amazing success in losing weight, but somehow or another I "find" it again! Vicious cycle, you know. Much of my life is spent thinking about how out of shape I have become and trying to find that magic remedy.
To make matters worse, most people are insanely insensitive to fat people. They ask you things like, "How did you get so fat?" or "Have you always been this big?" Then you have the children who don't know any better. The truth just comes out, but it still stings a bit... "You're fat." What do you say to a kid when they say that? You can let 'em have it and send them crying to their mommies or just tell them the truth which I usually do, "I ate too much food and sat around a lot." Worst of all are the people that point or stare and make fun of you. Perfect strangers who elbow one another to point out the giant man that has decided to venture out into the real world today.
These situations make you want to stay at home and live life as a hobbit (not the Lord of the Rings kind either). You fear exposing yourself to a cruel world, hell bent on image and beauty. Lashing out at these idiots seems like an good option sometimes, but it would just leave you feeling even more empty inside.
My coping mechanism is to make fun of myself before anyone gets the chance. I built a semi-decent comedy routine around it. Pointing out something everyone is thinking about you seems to put them at ease. It's like they want to ask one another, "Does he know how huge he is?" Letting them know you are aware makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I remove myself from any situation that might bring light to my affliction. More and more, I protect myself by holding back from normal activities. On top of all that, Satan plays into all my fears. "If you go out to eat here, you'll be too fat to sit anywhere." "You can't go there, you'll have to walk to far and you'll sweat like a pig." "You're going to have a heart attack and die." So I don't experience life, I hide myself away.
Throughout this struggle one of my best friends and I have compared horror stories as well as the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain. We always like to hear what the other one is doing about their fatness. In typical fashion I recently asked my friend what program he was on and what he was doing to "fix" himself. What he said to me threw me for a loop. He said, "Scott, I am trying to learn to be comfortable in my own skin." It blew me away. How can we be comfortable like this? How can we like who we are? How can others like who we are?
God really started to hit me between the eyes with this one. Being comfortable with myself. Now before you start saying, "Scott, it's unhealthy." I am not trying to say that I should just throw in the towel and balloon until they have to cut a hole in my wall and take me out of bed with a forklift. I am saying that God wants me to know that He loves me. He doesn't say, "How did you get so fat Scott?" He says, "I am proud of you. I love you." He looks at the inside, not the outer shell (1 Samuel 16:7).
God has been challenging me to do things that I am afraid of. I have made some actual strides lately too. I walked up and down a gazillion stairs to Lake Michigan for the first time in years. I was terrified for ages that I would go into cardiac arrest. I just asked God to protect me and to help me overcome that lie from the Devil. He told me, "Go ahead. Trust Me." It was like an adrenaline rush. My feet had not touched that water in so long, I forgot how great it feels.
This past weekend back at Lake Michigan God threw down another challenge. My wife and her side of the family were out on the boat in Lake Michigan. My nephews wanted to drive a few miles out and dive in and swim. I love to swim, not in front of people, but I love to swim. I grew up with a pool and I still swim regularly at my parents house to this day, but not in front of people. I could never allow them to see my body. I couldn't dare. I felt God telling me to "dive in" and enjoy the crystal clear water.
As I decided whether or not to go into the water, the lies started coming. "They are going to see how fat you are and be disgusted." "You will never be able to climb back into the boat, you're too fat." "You'll probably go so deep when you jump in that you'll drown yourself." That is the one that really made me want to laugh. Satan was grasping at straws on that one. That did it, I was going in. In my head the song "Dive" by Steven Curtis Chapman played like a soundtrack.
God was asking me to cleanse myself. I really believe that. He was asking me to dive in and let the water cleanse my soul. Remove the lies. Renew my soul. Be surrounded by it. It was literally like a baptism. Once I was in I felt incredible. There was still some fear there, but I was taking steps. I made an effort to move out of what had become comfortable.
My identity is not found in what I look like. I will not let myself believe that I am just another "fat guy." My identity is in Christ. I am a new creation in Him. The Holy Spirit is moving inside me and turning me into the man that God sees. The one He is proud of. The one He loves.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Tonight...
I have a ton of things on my mind from our weekend in Holland, Michigan. I am just trying to narrow things down. Maybe multiple entries shall break forth, but there will definitely be something new... I even had a request for the story of Cheryl and I. So that may show it's face on this Bloggy Blog soon too.
Have something for you soon.
Have something for you soon.
Friday, August 05, 2005
The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side
One thing you always dream about having once you hit adulthood is your own home. A place where you can listen to stereo as loud as you want. You can turn the heat up as high or as low as you please and you can decorate it anyway you desire. There is one giant drawback... grass cutting!
I hate it. I hated when I was a teenager doing it for my parents and I hate it now. It's not so much the actual physical labor that drives me crazy (although with the temps this summer it has been a drag), but the time that I have to invest in something that I hate so much. I think part of it is, I am not good at it. I mean, I can't get my lawn to look nice. My next door neighbor is like almost 80 years old and he is working on his lawn everyday!
While I can't compete with that, I can enjoy my time outside cutting the lawn that I am blessed enough to have. I have to remind myself of that... I am blessed. Cheryl and I have everything that we need. In reality we have so much more. More than millions of people all over the world. Hey, even my friends in Las Vegas don't have as much lawn as I do. I envy them... less to cut!
The long and the short of it is... get it? Long. Short. I am so funny aren't I?
Sometimes the grass is greener right where you are.
I hate it. I hated when I was a teenager doing it for my parents and I hate it now. It's not so much the actual physical labor that drives me crazy (although with the temps this summer it has been a drag), but the time that I have to invest in something that I hate so much. I think part of it is, I am not good at it. I mean, I can't get my lawn to look nice. My next door neighbor is like almost 80 years old and he is working on his lawn everyday!
While I can't compete with that, I can enjoy my time outside cutting the lawn that I am blessed enough to have. I have to remind myself of that... I am blessed. Cheryl and I have everything that we need. In reality we have so much more. More than millions of people all over the world. Hey, even my friends in Las Vegas don't have as much lawn as I do. I envy them... less to cut!
The long and the short of it is... get it? Long. Short. I am so funny aren't I?
Sometimes the grass is greener right where you are.
Monday, August 01, 2005
FAILURE.
Before I get into this, I just want you to know this is not my "sob story." This is something that God has laid on my heart and has shed His light on. This is me being who I am, speaking my mind. I can't be afraid of what someone might think of me as they read this, I just have to write it.
Seven letters. So powerful. I hate the sight of it. Hated typing it. Can't stand hearing it.
It rules my life.
I have to be honest, there are not many times in my life that I have not felt like a failure. Remembering times that I have been told or been made to feel like a failure are easy to come by in my mind. Sometimes I feel like my identity is tied to failing.
The enemy, Satan, loves that, doesn't he? (1 Peter 5:8b) He wants to destroy us. Finding that one thing that throws your life into the abyss is his greatest work. He finds your wounds and passes the word on to all his minions.
"Guys. When you want to truly defeat Scott, tell him he's a failure. Remind him of how he has failed. Plant seeds in the minds of those in his life to make him believe he's a failure. It works everytime."
It's like a memo that they've all filed in the memory banks. They know my weakness. Failure is my kryptonite. With God I can fly like Superman. I can do all things through Him. He gives me my super powers! But somehow, I keep falling for that little piece of green rock from my home planet. The thing that can destroy me... FAILURE.
It is strange how easily I fall for it. Casual conversations can be a horrible trap set to throw me into a tail spin. In my mind I can see myself crashing. I see it coming, but he tells me I am powerless to stop it. Another lie that I have allowed to permeate my being.
Tonight, I felt it crushing down on me. Mocking me. It hurts so much. It's crippling.
By nature I am a dreamer. I dream big. In my mind there are no limits. But there is always someone there to kill those dreams. Satan uses anyone and everyone to disable me. Even those who are supposed to love me. They don't do it purposefully, but inadvertently they hit me with body shots that crumble me. Telling me my dreams are crazy and unattainable. That they lack common sense. They are not the normal. That I should conform. Be just like them.
But I am unique. As are all who read this. God made me in a special way. He made me a dreamer. That is something He lovingly put into my identity. When I dream of what could happen, He smiles. He looks around at those in Heaven with Him and beams with pride. He is proud of me! Me!! He can't wait to talk about what I am up to. It is the same for all of us. Just knowing He loves me like that gives me life.
God totally just dropped this on me...
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
The fear of failure is not of God. Love does not allow for fear. Christ does not give us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 says:
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
Thank God, that my new nature - the way He has rewired me - His Holy Spirit inside me gives me back my super powers!
My identity is in Him.
Dreamers are important in this world. I watched The Aviator on Friday night and it just struck me. Howard Hughes was a dreamer. People told him he was crazy (sadly he eventually was), but he followed his dreams. He took risks. He stepped out and not only dreamed about things, but put some action behind it. The guy revolutionized the aviation business. He did things and dreamed up ways to fly that no one had the guts to do in his day.
That is the answer though. Dream all day long, but get moving on your dreams. As Elvis so eloquently sang, "A little less conversation, a little more action." While I'm sure that is not what he had in mind, the King will just have to live (he could still be alive you know) with the fact that we, the dreamers, will use it as motivation.
Faith without works... like a screen door on a submarine (thank you Rich Mullins).
It's time to step out. Our identity is found in our Heavenly Father. I'll never find what I am looking for anywhere else. I will never be complete without understanding that.
I am ready to live victoriously. Just saying that makes me dream about what is in store. There will be bumps in this road, but I must press on. Keep my eyes on Him.
Dream big.
-------------
I just wanted to acknowledge that I talked with Cheryl and Aaron about this tonight. Thank God for both of them. He uses them in my life so much. Cheryl has supported and encouraged my dreaming ways since the day we fell in love. Aaron is always there to encourage me and speak truth into my life. Both of them are a testament to the love of Christ. They have been vessels to show His love to me and countless others.
For all my fellow dreamers out there and even you non-dreamers, give this book a look.
God Bless.
Seven letters. So powerful. I hate the sight of it. Hated typing it. Can't stand hearing it.
It rules my life.
I have to be honest, there are not many times in my life that I have not felt like a failure. Remembering times that I have been told or been made to feel like a failure are easy to come by in my mind. Sometimes I feel like my identity is tied to failing.
The enemy, Satan, loves that, doesn't he? (1 Peter 5:8b) He wants to destroy us. Finding that one thing that throws your life into the abyss is his greatest work. He finds your wounds and passes the word on to all his minions.
"Guys. When you want to truly defeat Scott, tell him he's a failure. Remind him of how he has failed. Plant seeds in the minds of those in his life to make him believe he's a failure. It works everytime."
It's like a memo that they've all filed in the memory banks. They know my weakness. Failure is my kryptonite. With God I can fly like Superman. I can do all things through Him. He gives me my super powers! But somehow, I keep falling for that little piece of green rock from my home planet. The thing that can destroy me... FAILURE.
It is strange how easily I fall for it. Casual conversations can be a horrible trap set to throw me into a tail spin. In my mind I can see myself crashing. I see it coming, but he tells me I am powerless to stop it. Another lie that I have allowed to permeate my being.
Tonight, I felt it crushing down on me. Mocking me. It hurts so much. It's crippling.
By nature I am a dreamer. I dream big. In my mind there are no limits. But there is always someone there to kill those dreams. Satan uses anyone and everyone to disable me. Even those who are supposed to love me. They don't do it purposefully, but inadvertently they hit me with body shots that crumble me. Telling me my dreams are crazy and unattainable. That they lack common sense. They are not the normal. That I should conform. Be just like them.
But I am unique. As are all who read this. God made me in a special way. He made me a dreamer. That is something He lovingly put into my identity. When I dream of what could happen, He smiles. He looks around at those in Heaven with Him and beams with pride. He is proud of me! Me!! He can't wait to talk about what I am up to. It is the same for all of us. Just knowing He loves me like that gives me life.
God totally just dropped this on me...
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
The fear of failure is not of God. Love does not allow for fear. Christ does not give us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 says:
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
Thank God, that my new nature - the way He has rewired me - His Holy Spirit inside me gives me back my super powers!
My identity is in Him.
Dreamers are important in this world. I watched The Aviator on Friday night and it just struck me. Howard Hughes was a dreamer. People told him he was crazy (sadly he eventually was), but he followed his dreams. He took risks. He stepped out and not only dreamed about things, but put some action behind it. The guy revolutionized the aviation business. He did things and dreamed up ways to fly that no one had the guts to do in his day.
That is the answer though. Dream all day long, but get moving on your dreams. As Elvis so eloquently sang, "A little less conversation, a little more action." While I'm sure that is not what he had in mind, the King will just have to live (he could still be alive you know) with the fact that we, the dreamers, will use it as motivation.
Faith without works... like a screen door on a submarine (thank you Rich Mullins).
It's time to step out. Our identity is found in our Heavenly Father. I'll never find what I am looking for anywhere else. I will never be complete without understanding that.
I am ready to live victoriously. Just saying that makes me dream about what is in store. There will be bumps in this road, but I must press on. Keep my eyes on Him.
Dream big.
-------------
I just wanted to acknowledge that I talked with Cheryl and Aaron about this tonight. Thank God for both of them. He uses them in my life so much. Cheryl has supported and encouraged my dreaming ways since the day we fell in love. Aaron is always there to encourage me and speak truth into my life. Both of them are a testament to the love of Christ. They have been vessels to show His love to me and countless others.
For all my fellow dreamers out there and even you non-dreamers, give this book a look.
God Bless.
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